farfrompaid:

*welcome to mcdonalds*

him:”hold on a second”

him: “you still gone suck my dick tonight?”

her: “no”

him: “IIght its gone be two separate orders “

(via assholefolife)

I just wanna be happy. Everytime I believe things are starting to look brighter. Something bad always has to happen.

blackfemalepresident:

old ass ppl talk shit about my generation until they accidentally disable their wifi and cant figure out how to turn it back on

then im suddenly the mastermind of information & resources

(via gnarly)

shutupaubrey:

i love watching pets sleep bc you see their belly go up and down when they breathe and you’re like wow this is a lil living creature that’s all mine to play with

(via overfierce)